About a year ago, I was working with my mentor. I had come in for a session and I was talking about my struggles of the month. I didn’t even notice how much time I spent talking about other people rather than myself. How my friend was making me feel this way. How another person was doing that to me. My language portrayed me as a helpless victim whose life satisfaction was in the hands of others. I was completely unaware of the role I’d taken on until my mentor said, “Well Jamie, you can keep playing the victim or you can take an empowered stance. It’s your choice.” Woah- total lightbulb moment! She was completely right. No one can “make me feel” a certain way. How I feel is up to me.
I think many of us have fallen into the habit of placing our happiness in the hands of others. Why? It’s a lot easier to make others responsible for our happiness than take on that huge task ourselves. In order to reach a place of self-empowerment, we have to take a hard look at ourselves and own up to our mistakes, our flaws, our wounds. That doesn’t sound too fun! But you can do it! You can face the truth. It is totally worth the effort. It feels so liberating to know that the path to joy lies in your own hands.
Life is truly an inside job. When you are able to dig beneath the victim mentality and find self-love, everything on the outside begins to change. Your feelings are not so easily swayed by others because you stand firm in who you are. You stop tolerating people who want anything less than your happiness because you know that doesn’t align with your highest self. You only say yes to experiences that honor your joy because anything else just wouldn’t support the true you- the bright, loving being who is meant to shine!
When you stand in your power and joy, the falsities begin to melt away and you are left with people and experiences that support your highest self. You no longer feel the need to blame others because you know they are not responsible for your happiness; they are just a beautiful bonus adding to your life experience. I am so happy that I’m learning to leave the role of victim behind. I encourage you to tap into that place of inner joy and fulfillment and watch how your life experience soars. You hold the answers. You are worth it. You have the power to choose self-love.