I used to question myself all the time. I still do, but I’m getting better. My pattern looked something like this: A thought or desire bubbles to the surface. I get so excited! Then, I start to doubt myself. What do I do? I go to others. I share my idea. I look for their reactions. How do they respond? Do they think my idea is a good one? The right one?
So much need for outside approval.
I was telling my mentor about a time when I shared an idea with my mom. My mom didn’t agree with me. I was annoyed. I felt let down and discouraged. My mentor asked, “Well, what did you learn from that?” My first thoughts were, “Well I just won’t ask my mom for her opinion anymore. I will only ask people who will agree with my ideas.” Haha. She looked at me as if to say, “Try again.” But you see, I couldn’t escape this deep pattern I’d built. I saw no other way than running to someone else.
She pointed to her chest, her soul and said, “How about you go here.”
Ahhhh, yes- that was it, wasn’t it? I had to go home for my answers. I had to go within. I had to learn to trust myself.