Solitude is so important. It always helps us leave behind the crazy, ego mind and tap into the truth. While on vacation last week, I had a chance to step back and ask myself how I’m doing at this whole life thing at the moment. How do I feel? Well…not so good.
Why? I have become addicted to a lifestyle that involves being exhausted, stressed out, overwhelmed, and drained. If I’m not doing the hardest, most challenging thing, then I beat myself up.
I have good intentions. I don’t want to waste my life. I want to make a difference- but I’ve gotten tricked into thinking that the best way to make a difference is to work myself to the bone.
When I begin to enjoy life too much, the craziness inside of me feels guilty. “You’ve been enjoying yourself for too long. Cut that out. Make life difficult again. Only then will you be good enough.”
Wow! Why would I do this to myself? I felt so much compassion for myself in that moment.
I’ve been trained to believe that the most difficult path is the best path. I can’t even remember the last time I stopped to ask myself what would truly make me happy.
So…what would truly make me happy? I’m not sure I know. I never let myself ask. But it’s important for me to find out. I am my best for myself and others when I am happy. My job is to be happy, to come alive with joy.
That’s how I make a difference in the world- I choose happiness, I let it guide me. I throw all this other junk about needing to feel exhausted out the window. And from a place of happiness, I am able to give, to serve, to inspire, to love.