Finding the Courage to be ME

“It takes courage to grow up and become who you really are.”

– E. E. Cummings

Since the age of 18, I’ve had an intense desire to live abroad. First it was Australia. Then it was Greece. Most recently it was Costa Rica. I fantasize about these trips, buy books about the places I want to go, look at places to live. I can almost taste the experience- freedom, joy, adventure, and love. And then it disappears. I’ve never made the move.

And I wonder why? What is this desire truly about?

Now I see.

It’s not about living abroad at all. It’s about the freedom it represents. The Jamie who lives abroad gets to start over. She gets to be completely herself. No one knows who she is or what she’s been labeled. It’s a chance to be completely free.

I’ve never allowed myself complete joy, freedom, and adventure. I have never fully owned who I am and showed that person to the world with judgment or doubt.

This desire is not about living abroad at all. It’s about my soul screaming for the chance to be fully alive! To be fully me! To own all of who I am.

I thought I had to run away and start over to give my highest self a chance. Now I realize it doesn’t matter where I am. I can find the freedom I tied with living abroad within myself by lovingly owning all of who I am.

My soul doesn’t care if I live abroad. It cares that I find the courage to be free, to be ME.

It doesn’t matter what experiences we choose. It matters what we allow within ourselves. Allow yourself to experience, express, and FEEL. What parts of you are you denying? What wants to be expressed? That’s you! Own it! Your soul is screaming for it.

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