“The good guy is making a comeback!” I said to my friend and her boyfriend.
I watched the way he treated my friend. He adored her. She adored him. It was great to see!
So many years of digging the “bad boy.” Why did so many of us women deem that cool or sexy or attractive? So attractive to be ditched and lied to and flaked on over and over again until we’re sobbing in bed or getting drunk to escape our pain.
But the men aren’t the only ones to blame. Us women (at least some of us) have taken just as big of a part in keeping the bad boy alive.
The way we proclaim, “I like bad boys.”
The way we find “the challenge” (aka being ditched or ignored) sexy.
And then we stick around. And complain about it. And play the victim.
I’m not trying to bash women. I’m one of us, and we rock. We’re powerful and we don’t need to settle for relationships that are less than fulfilling.
I’m not suggesting that we beat ourselves up even more. I’m suggesting that we start to believe that we’re worthy of men who keep their word, men who respect women.
Honesty is sexy.
Values are sexy.
Showing interest is sexy.
Being kind is sexy.
Calling you back is sexy.
“The good guy is making a comeback!”
My friend’s boyfriend replied, “The good guy with a backbone!”
Ok good clarification.
A man can adore you and still stand his ground.
A man can love you and still have his own interests and goals and dreams.
A man can express his feelings and still be strong and masculine and confident.
In fact, that’s what keeps the relationship interesting. When we can go off and pursue our individual goals and come back together to share with one another. When we can have different points of view and learn from one another.
The good guy with a backbone.
That’s sexy. That’s fulfilling. That’s what I wish for my friends.
Let’s make space for him.