Are you Handing Over your Power?

Why are we so quick to hand over our power?

I began the path to becoming a therapist four years ago. Toward the end of graduate school, it became clear to me that the title of “Marriage and Family Therapist” didn’t suit me. I didn’t want to work with a board of ethics watching over my back. I didn’t want to be responsible for endless hours of paperwork to satisfy insurance companies. I didn’t want to limit my relationships with my clients out of fear, practicing under rules that banned me hugging my clients or letting them know anything about myself. What kind of relationship did that allow for?

So I took a break from getting my internship hours- for a year. And while I allowed myself this break, the license calls my name again as if to say, “Get back on track. You’ve been having too much fun. Time is up.” Why do I care? Why can’t I just let the damn thing go?

The voices of others echo in my head:

“Finish what you’ve started.”

“You need a license for people to take you seriously.”

Fear clouds my judgment and I give in. I guess I need my license. I guess I should get back on track. I guess I should get back inside the box. Be a good girl. Follow the rules. Play it safe.

And while I pretend I’ve agreed to get “back on track,” I seek another answer- anywhere and everywhere. Maybe today will be the day that someone tells me it’s ok to jump ship. Maybe today I’ll get a sign that it’s ok to let go.

And today that day came. My friend called me out of the blue to remind me that I decide how my life unfolds. I hold the power. I simply have to give myself permission.

As we spoke, I got back in touch with the path of my dreams. A path of continuing to explore- astrology, yoga, herbalism. A path with no clear end in sight. A mysterious path. But strangely, the mystery feels good, so good. Energy began to flow through me in a way I’d forgotten. And I realized that my only duty is to follow what feels good in this moment. Not what “looks good.” Not what “sounds good.” What FEELS really good in my soul.

Why did I need her permission when I knew my answer all along? Why do we so easily hand over our power to others? Another therapist. Another lecture. Another book- maybe then I’ll get it.

Not anymore. What is your truth. Stop pretending that some book or person knows you better than you know yourself.

Who are you and what do you want? What feels good? What honors your soul? Is it weird or unconventional or risky or unlikely? Good. You’re not meant to fit in a box anyway. Lead the way for others. Own a new way.  Own your power.

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