“Treat yourself well.”
I sat in meditation this morning and asked for guidance. May all the muck that’s clogged my mind vanish. May I be clear. Clear enough to hear. Clear enough to listen. Clear enough to let the divine lead the way- a force that doesn’t get distracted by anxiety or pressure or money or fear or needing to look good or fit in or stand out.
I am biased. I only know what I have learned. And what I’ve learned has come from others who are biased. We only know what we know- from our parents, our experiences, our ideas about life and society. We are all skewed.
So as I meditate, I sit. I am. I am present. I am blank, and in those moments I hear from a place that feels pure, loving, and honest.
Today I hear, “Treat yourself well.” I’ve thought this before, but today, the words come from a center of deep love and the words feel different.
I’ve practiced treating myself well- getting massages, eating healthy food, laughing with friends. All lovely practices- but none address the real roots, the real foundation of my life- my emotions, my needs, my lifestyle. What if I reached all the way down to my roots and began the self-love there? What if I bathed in a center of self-love? I wonder if any of my lovely practices would even feel necessary.
Our lovely practices feel so important to us because we need them to cope. Cope with what? The self-betrayal we participate in left and right. 3 examples from just today:
My father was recently injured. So used to taking the world on his shoulders, he doesn’t know what to do now that he’s hurt. He doesn’t feel worthy of asking for help and when he does, he is clouded with guilt and shame. My heart broke as I realized that long ago my dad decided he wasn’t worth the support of others.
My best friend, recently asked to pick up and move yet again for her job. She didn’t hesitate and began packing her bags- even though her heart sunk at the thought of moving away from her family. My heart broke as I realized that long ago my friend decided she didn’t have a say in the matter of her life, or her heart.
Me. I continue to run around a restaurant night after night waitressing even though I long to be teaching, speaking, writing, expressing myself. My heart broke as I realized that long ago I bought into the belief that money doesn’t come easy, nor do your dreams.
“Treat yourself well.”
It echoed through my head as I ran around the restaurant, and I was able to tap into the loving center I’d found in meditation. Yes- this loving center was key. Working with it, cultivating it, getting to know it. Because from this center, I change my priorities. I cannot help but lead with treating myself well.
10 minutes everyday is all it takes. 10 minutes of sitting in peace with the truth. 10 minutes of letting the divine soak you in love. 10 minutes of committing to treating yourself well.
Then you know it in your bones. You know the love that flows deeply within you. Big love.
I vow each day to reach below all the beliefs that are keeping me small and tap into the truth that is me.
I am big love. And if I stay centered in love, the external can’t help but shift and follow.