At my core, I am a soul. I have no labels. I don’t fit into a box.
I enjoy certain experiences in life….
Like when I’m writing messages like these that help me tap into my emotions.
Or when I’m connected with another soul in deep conversation.
Or when I’m sitting outside and the sun is beating on my skin and the breeze is blowing my hair and I just feel in awe of nature and this planet.
The older I get, the more I love this planet. It baffles me. I have no idea how this brilliance began or how it’s going to unfold, but in this moment, I’m completely in awe of it and I feel a deep desire to speak up on its behalf- to constantly remind myself how beautiful and magical it all is, that nothing is impossible, that there are no limits (watch a butterfly flutter or a flower bloom and tell me there are limits).
Yet, we’ve been told there are limits. We’ve been told there are certain ways to live our lives. There are certain ways to get it right.
Yet, who decided this? It’s simply a system that’s been created. And the fact that we’re living in a brilliant and unlimited universe tells me there are an unlimited amount of other systems that could be created if we were open to them.
It got me thinking, on a smaller level, what about the system I’ve created for my own life? Do I like it? What are the rules I’m living by?
As I really stop and question the beliefs that guide me, it’s mind-blowing to realize I’ve created a system for myself that’s quite imprisoning and restricting.
The one that really stands out for me is this: I stop myself from experiencing joy.
Yep. It’s true.
But why would I do that?
I have come to believe (mind you, not consciously) that in order to be a worthy human I must have some sort of stress or anxiety in my life. Stress and anxiety equal success right? If I am stressed out, it means I am working hard! And hard work is what we’re all about!
Yuck. What about meaningful work? What about work that makes me truly happy? What about experiencing peace? It’s like I deem myself lazy if I’m enjoying myself too much. Better find something to do that makes me stressed out so I can be worthy again.
I also realize I’ve boughten into the belief that I need to have a story; I need to have a label. People are constantly asking me what I do, and that creates the need to have a story handy, preferably one that sounds impressive.
I am guilty of creating a story that makes me feel like I fit in. I got my masters degree. Now I call myself an Astrologist. I fit neatly into a category this way. But does it feel genuinely authentic? When people ask me about myself and I spout off that I have my masters and am practicing astrology- does it really capture who I am? No.
To be honest. I don’t feel like I fit a label or any job title. What truly makes me happy? Connecting with people. Writing. Talking about life. Doesn’t really fit neatly into some prestigious box. And that’s ok. I’m tired of trying to fit into a box. I’m tired of feeling like I need to justify who I am to others.
I am here. I am here to enjoy life. I am here to feel free. I am here to express myself. I am here to experience love. I am here to be a conscious human being who respects this earth. That is enough for me.
And as I accept this I feel free- free to create a new system, free to live my life as I please, free to stop keeping myself from joy, free to stop limiting myself with labels.
Now I see that the system I’ve lived by is simply one that’s been made up and taught to me. And now, I am free to make up whatever system I want. A system that will no longer be told to me by anyone else, but a system that resonates deeply in my own soul.
And this system no longer includes needing to be stressed to be worthy, or needing to sound impressive, or needing to have a title.
This system includes joy, this system includes being a messy and alive human, and this system includes knowing that any title would be limiting to an unlimited soul in an unlimited universe.